Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
