piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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