GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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