He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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