There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
