im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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