Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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