i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
