we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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