You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
