its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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