i just wanna soil my oats bro
Tell her she can't have a vagina
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
