i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
