oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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