It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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