oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize