I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
