He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize