My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
