If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
