how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Randomize
