so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
