White coat. Heels.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize