I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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