I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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