Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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