Don't you send me to vm
wanna go halves on a baby?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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