Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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