areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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