But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
