Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
