Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
we're making bets on your personal life
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
