Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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