Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
