It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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