you guys were way drunker than both of me
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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