WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Terrible idea I love it
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
