grandma shit on top of the toilet
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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