I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
