Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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