if you like me you must not know who I am
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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