i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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