You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
