I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
