Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
