My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
