3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
