We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
