At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
