Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
