Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
