I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
