Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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