If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize