Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize