He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
