we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
And then he peed in my hair
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