i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
