DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So much Jack, so little girl.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
