you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
