What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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