the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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